When I approach a public speaking opportunity and I am feeling all the "feels", I warn folks about my propensity to "cry ugly." This has been my personality and my emotional make-up for as long as I can remember. This is ME...it will always be ME...and I am (at long last) comfortable in my "cry ugly" skin.
A very long time ago, and I mean like 55 years ago "long time ago", someone who didn't know me well asked me, "What's wrong with you?" right after one of my ugly cry moments. I had never thought of my ugly crying as "something wrong" until then. I was suddenly on my heels wondering about what was wrong with me!
Well, I did grow up in a home of serious mental health issues as well as drugs/alcohol realities. I was the first hand witness of physical violence, both in home and on the mean streets of 1960's Milwaukee. My school experiences were laced with some kind of learning disabilities (totally undiagnosed at that time). I ended up the hospital when I was 7 because I was malnourished and very sick as a result. And, to top it off, I was self-harming and suicidal in middle school and high school. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG WITH ME?
Be assured, I am no longer wondering, "what's wrong with me." I AM wondering what is wrong with anyone in the big bad world around me when they look at anyone ugly crying as some kind of problem. I have come to embrace my tears, my sobs, my snotty nose, and the gravel in my throat preventing me from speaking clearly. My weeping is the result of a life lived forward toward my healing from all the difficult realities I listed above.
Last night, the world witnessed Gov. Walz's son crying ugly with profound love and shouting, "That's my dad!" Some shallow and broken souls have asked, "What's wrong with him?" My answer is, "NOT A DAMN THING!" The question truly is, "What's wrong with us that we can not manage, in a healthy and mature way, someone living their emotions openly?" Especially, a son crying out, "That's my dad!'
My newest hero is Gus Walz, crying ugly in front of a watching world, with unbridled love for his dad. The shortest Bible verse is "Jesus wept." Openly showing us what God looks like. Showing us without shame, how to profoundly CARE, LOVE, GRIEVE, and REJOICE just like God.
Ugly criers...unite! Let your face be seen with your lips swollen, your face scrunched up like a sock puppet, and your snot flowing like melted ice cream on the edges of an ice cream cone. Cry for LOVE displayed with no shame. Cry for grief no longer stifled.
Cry for God's sake...CRY RIGHT OUT LOUD... FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!
