Extreme Makeover; The Church Edition

I'm a sucker for the ABC television broadcast, "Extreme Makeover; The Home Edition". It's a quasi-reality show where they pick a deserving family whose house is in some kind of disrepair, rot, mold infestation or just plain ugly condition of some kind. They plow the shack to the ground and build a palace in its place.

The families are usually made up of adoptive/foster parents, single moms or dads with huge herds of kids and a wide variety of physically challenged adults and or kids. They're sent away for a free vacation during the house transformation and the show ends with the family wisked back for the surprise unveiling. ABC intentionally aims at weeping saps like me who are given to watch these shows, cry and bask in the glow of all the warm fuzzies....so sue me.

My point in bringing this up is that it has given me a great idea for another reality show; "Extreme Makeover; The Church Edition". Like the Home Edition, a group of design experts could descend on an unsuspecting ministry and wake them up with a guy on a bullhorn in the front yard bringing the wonderful surprise to light. Free vacation! Brand new ministry!

I can see it now; "Hey! Pat Robertson! Wake up! It's the Extreme Makeover team! We are here to take you to the West Bank, Israel, where you will spend the next 90 days living with Palestinian Christians with a roll of duct tape around your mouth. Having your mouth sealed might save your life, and if it does, it will also give you a rare opportunity to listen to people whose point of view is radically different from yours. Once you are done there, you will be helicoptered to Jerusalem to minister to Ariel Sharon and his family....the duct tape will remain on."

Or, "JJJJJerrrrryyyy Falwell! Come on out....we have an jetliner fueled and ready to fly you to Calcutta, India where you will take Mother Teresa's place. For 90 days you will walk the mean streets of Calcutta without a single TV camera to record your actions or any body guards or PR handlers to protect you. You will live her vow of poverty and be forced to love the most unlovable people on the planet. When you are done there, we will fly you back to the USA....to the place you once said was ripe for the judgement of God and deserved a killer hurricane...... New Orleans! Once there, we will assign you to an inner city church where you will spend an additional 90 days pastoring a massively wounded flock. No cameras, no handlers. Just you and God looking into the eyes of people hungry for answers and help."

Oh no....I feel a lump in my throat....I have to stop now.....I'm such a sap.....